listening to guilt or God

Since becoming a mommy, I have been amazed (and overwhelmed) at what a mommy can feel guilty over... even when you've only been a mommy for 5 months!

For instance:

Wake up in the morning and feel guilty that I didn't wake up an hour earlier and take a shower, get dressed, and be ready for the day. Or feel guilty for not snuggling with my little darling in the morning a little longer. Or take a shower and get dressed while she's awake and feel guilty that I wasn't spending time with her... since she grows so quickly. Pick up Maggie and nurse her in bed, feel guilty that I am not feeding her right "on schedule." Guilt over reading just three books to her, guilt over drinking my coffee and checking facebook while she's playing with her toys, guilt for putting her down for a nap in her swing OR for putting her in the crib for a nap (which she hates). Guilt for going out in the afternoon and messing up her schedule. Guilt for staying home and making my schedule so baby-centered that I don't take care of our errands. Guilt for not carrying her around the store, or guilt for carrying her around in the store when she should be in her car seat to stay warm. Guilt that I had to leave her to go to work. Guilt for enjoying work. Guilt for wanting to be home with her all the time. Guilt for not working more. Guilt for not being home more... for spending time on school... for not getting school done sooner... for not ironing... for spending time cleaning the house when I could be playing with Maggie... for feeding her rice cereal before the recommended 6 months... for not spending more time in prayer, reading the Word...

Get the picture?

So the other night, in the midst of a particularly depressing guilt-fest, the Holy Spirit reminded me that I don't need to be feeling guilty over all this STUFF. "But the Lord answered her...you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary" (Luke 10:41-42).

In the midst of all the things I can do, should do, could do, would do, won't do, etc. - the only thing I need to really worry about - is to listen to Jesus. He wants my attention. He wants my heart. He wants me to lay all these "guilts" down, all these anxieties that are really quite foolish - and listen to Him.

I don't know how to make it all work. I just know that I need Him desperately, and I need to listen to Him and not the nagging voices of guilt. He is the one that is necessary, and He will not be taken away from me!